The Bracelet

The truth is, although most of these posts are about how much I miss my Dad, there are many days that I carry on just fine and don't think about it too much.  I definitely have  my moments, of course, but for the most part I am living my life and taking it one day at a time.

There are also some days, amazing days, where I feel my Dad's presence.  It breaks through the sullen clouds like rays of sunshine and fills my heart with joy that is simply indescribable.  The day I found the bracelet was one of those days.

It had only been a day or two since he had passed, and I returned home from the hospice center.  The weekend before was the local Pancreatic Cancer Action Network Run.  We had signed up to captain a team, and had recruited a few friends to run in my Dad's honor.  In light of everything that was happening with him, we could not attend the race that weekend, but it was ever more important to me that our friends participated on our behalf. 

This particular day, about a week following the race, I was walking through my bedroom and something caught my eye.  A purple bracelet (the rubber kind), was sitting on my wood chest.  I picked it up to look at it, and realized it was stamped with insignia for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network Foundation.  I couldn't believe it was just sitting there.  I certainly had never seen it before.  I went to my husband and asked "Did you put this bracelet on the chest thinking you would wear it for the run last weekend?"  He looked at it and said to me "I've never seen that before in my life.  Where was it you said?"  I told him where I found it and that I didn't put it there either. 

Now the likelihood is that somewhere, somehow, one of us had that bracelet and didn't remember putting it on the chest.  But I'm telling you that neither of us had seen it before ever, and I choose to believe that my Dad put it there for me.  I believe it was his way of connecting with me right after he passed, and letting me know it was him by using something that I would identify as him, such as PanCan.  I put on the bracelet and have worn it almost every day since then.