Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Just a Dream?

Last night I had the most wonderful and simple dream. What I remember is that my Dad was sitting on a couch, healthy and happy. He was talking, to me I think but I'm not sure because I wasn't really paying attention. I remember thinking "Am I dreaming? I must be. But this feels so real! Maybe God is finally answering my prayer and giving me my Dad again. Here he is just as I wondered what I would do if I ever saw him again." It was at that point that I ran over to him and threw my arms around him. I hugged him and wouldn't let go. I cried a little, but they were tears of joy. I don't remember if we spoke at all, or what we may have said. I remember glancing back and seeing my Mom standing there with tears in her eyes. She turned to wipe them away, and I knew she was so happy for this moment. I really, seriously, have never felt more sure that a dream was reality. I had even gone through the process of questioning of this were just another dream like all the rest, wherein I realized they were dreams while I was experiencing them. This time felt completely different. I can't explain it, except to say that it was real at the time. When I awoke I sat for a few minutes trying to process what just happened. I was coming to grips with the fact that I was just laying in bed after this very vivid dream. I was picturing in my head again and again what he looked like just moments earlier; trying to savor the memory and the feeling. I replayed it over and over in my head. While other times I woke up so emotional that I would begin to cry, this time I did not. I only cried as I was putting together the words to describe this experience just now. My emotions are mixed because I know it was only a dream and my Dad is not here, but I also can't help but feel that perhaps this was a little answered prayer for me, and maybe the only feasible way I could receive what I was asking for, and I should be grateful for that.

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